Saving Baby R.

SAVING BABY R.

To put the world right in order, we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in order, we must first put the family in order; to put the family in order, we must first cultivate our personal life; we must first set our hearts right. -Confucius


My purpose for writing this is not to paint foster parents as villains. In most cases they are the opposite. Foster parents our very important and should be looked at with high regards and respect by society.
They are there to provide temporary love, support and a family like atmosphere when children are taking away from their biological parents. And at times, the best place for the child to remain permanetly if reunification does not take place with their biological parents should be with the foster parents through legal adoption.
But foster parents should not fight the child’s family when the family has jumped through every hoop required by the State for proper placement especially when the State Adoptions itself recommend the placement with family.
If I may address the “foster parents” of my nephew:
First I would say thank you, thank you for having a heart for children. Being a “foster parent” is a difficult job to say the least. But my thank you ceases there. I find it terribly difficult to praise “foster parents” who would fight a very loving, very qualified and very dedicated family for the return of our beloved family member. Our nephew is very much missed by eight aunts and uncles, ten cousins, two siblings and numerous extended family members. All who did nothing to deserve for him to be taken from us.

We have been there for him since before birth. We anxiously awaited his arrival and were ecstatic to see him take his first breath of this earth. When CPS took him from his biological parents we ALL stepped up and made it very clear we are his family and we want him to be returned to us. You were aware that we have always been here, you met us, we sent pictures of him and his cousins. We provided clothes, toys, valuable family medical information, prayers, support, love and never ending desire to have him remain in the family God blessed him with.

And yet, for your own selfish reasons you did not do what “foster parents” are inteneded to do. You did not promote reunification; you did not care more for this child and his immeasurable love from his family. You cared only for yourselves. You were given proof the State Cleared and even recommends permanent placement to be given to his maternal aunt and uncle and still you fought. You attended court date after court dates where you first handed saw his family love and dedication to him and still you fought. You were aware of his biological parents’ wishes and signed designated relinquishment for him to be placed with his maternal aunt and uncle and still you fought.

This fight by you cannot be seen as heroic or you are doing this for the best interest for the child. It could only be seen as organized kidnapping. You should be seen for the villains you are, not heroic “foster parents” it’s quit unreasonable for the foster parents to fight this child you claim to love family and create this acrimonious atmosphere between yourselves and this child’s biological family. This is not a child who has no suitable family to provide permanency for him.

If that were the case then you should be commended to want to provide a loving home and family for a child where there isn’t one. But this has never been the case. You should be ashamed for doing everything in your power to attempt to take a very much loved and wanted member from a family.

All I am left to say is if you are successful, if the Judge determines our nephew is to remain with you, this will come back to bite you, regardless of the outcome. This child will be an adult longer than he is a child, he will learn the truth, and he will be shown the sacrifices happily made by his biological family to keep him with us. And he will see how you kidnapped him. His family will not be erased, his DNA will not be changed and his forever bond with our family will not be stolen forever.

Our family’s hearts are right, we love Baby R. and we want him to remain where God intended for him to be, with our family, with HIS family.
You do not have to be a parent to shudder at the word kidnapping nor do you have to be a parent to feel the pain of the loss of a child. All you need is to have a relationship with a child to know the forever ache of the mere thought of them to be taken from you. I am a parent, a proud mother of two.
I am currently experiencing and grieving a kidnapping in my family today but not of my own biological children a kidnapping of my blood related nephew. This kidnapping did not initiate the Amber Alert, the police are not searching for a criminal, and there will be no court date to see the person responsible for taking my nephew be found guilty. This story may sound like a bad Lifetime movie plot but this unfortunately is my reality, but the kidnappers in my Lifetime story are hidden and protected under the guise of “foster parent.”
My nephew was taking from his biological parents and placed into foster care in November 2007. Since that date, my sister and I have made it very clear that we love our nephew and both sought to have him placed with us. Child Protective Services (CPS) prolonged the case and placed our nephew with a foster family that have already adopted a number of foster children.
My sister was cleared by California State Adoptions for permanent placement of our two year old nephew; she and her husband were also named as defacto parent. The foster parents knew our families request and intent to have our nephew remain in our family and they not only fought us but hired their own attorney. The foster parents frustrated visitation with our family, and they unsuccessfully attempted to get a restraining order on our nephew’s biological mother. Moreover, they have done everything in there power to keep the extended biological family out of his life.
My sister and I have entered into an unbridled war with the foster parents for our nephew to remain with his biological family. His biological parents signed a legal designated relinquishment to severe there rights of their son to be specifically placed with his maternal aunt and uncle. The foster parents still would not cease in there efforts to thwart his reunification with his biological family.
Today, the only thing standing in his way of being returned to his biological loving and highly committed family is the foster parents desire to adopt him. California State Adoptions has done a complete investigation of the maternal aunt and uncle and highly recommends permanent placement and adoption by the maternal aunt and uncle. These are not foster parents who desire to help a child who does not have love or family ties; these are foster parents who out of there own selfish wishes are fighting to keep him.
This situation is not one where family did not make there presence and wishes for the child known to the child’s foster parents until the eleventh hour. The foster parents knew our families intent the entire time, and they still selfishly sought the child. These specific foster parents should be ashamed of their lack of compassion and there intent to keep this child from his natural biological family. This act by the foster parents is not praiseworthy and should not be commended; it is without a doubt malicious. They are attempting to take this child from his family who has done nothing but show love, support and the desire to have him remain in their family. The foster parents are trying to adopt a child that should not be adopted as he has a very supportive and State Approved natural family that wants him.
In the next few weeks the fate of my nephew will be decided by a Crescent City Judge. Our two year old nephew will either be permitted to be adopted as requested by his biological parents and as recommended by California State Adoptions by his maternal aunt and uncle. Or he will be left with his foster parents to be adopted. Unfortunately if the latter is to happen this case will not end there, there will be an appeal filed by our family immediately.
Baby R.’s proud Maternal Auntie Lisa